Can people ever really change?

You’ve probably heard the saying: People don’t ever change. While we can’t change our personalities and the way we’re wired, there are parts of our lives we can control. Entire industries exist around the promise of positive change (self-development).

A discussion about change delves into personal habits and the kind of things we do, and have done, since childhood.

Scientists believe that we are the way we are, usually for the rest of our lives, by the time we’re 17. But we can morph our behaviours and facilitate change, especially when we’re aware of out personalities and how we tick (our bird types).

A perception shift

There are likely parts of yourself that you’d like to change. Maybe you wish you were a better public speaker (sweet Doves). You’ll probably find it harder than an authoritative Eagle, but it doesn’t mean you can’t captivate an audience. It’s important to recognise how your personality affects the things you do.

This is why we recommend everyone know which bird type they are. It’ll help you connect the dots and not only life to your strengths, but also focus on developing the things that don’t come naturally to you.

Your personal evolution should continue throughout your life. This is where we get into self-actualisation territory and reach the best version of ourselves. We all have traits that make us unique but equally, there will be things that we need to improve.

Changing vs. evolving

When we talk about changing, we’re referring to becoming a different person or moulding a significant characteristic. For example, changing from an introvert to an extravert. Doing so conflicts with the person you are. It would ultimately lead to unhappiness and underperformance. In time, they would fall back into their natural style.

Evolving is another story. To evolve is to make simple adjustments that improve something about you. Instead of ‘changing’ from a Dove to Eagle, introvert to extravert, you can simply focus on becoming a more comfortable presenter. See the difference? It’s a slight adjustment that allows for growth vs. a major personality shift.

The stages of transition

Evolving takes patience. There are eight stages of transition; disengagement, disidentification, disorientation, letting go, reengagement, discovery, clarity and integration.

You know what people say about patience: it’s a virtue. But, in today’s instant gratification world, this is harder than ever. So, give your evolution the time it needs, to see that inner shift. Being flexible and pivoting along the way is important, too. Constantly adjust, adapt and realign to help you stay on path.

Be honest with yourself and get clear about how you want to grow (and why). This will help keep yourself accountable and continue taking steps forward.

Attachment to an identity

This is another essential factor we can’t skip over. Change and growth is linked to our sense of identity. We tend to find comfort in familiarity, while creating new versions of ourselves can threaten this (even without us realising).

It’s easier to build our identity around the things that have happened to us (our external world) rather than out of the core of who we are. Let go of that ‘little story’ a little, so you can reinvent yourself.

Don’t be afraid of change because this is where the magic happens. Start small. Learn about your personalityso you can connect your growth goals to it and set realistic expectations. 

So, friends, don’t look to change. Aim for personal evolution instead. Always look to create better versions of yourself but accept the personality your genes ‘gave you.’ That is something you shouldn’t change.

To be able to evolve, spend time learning more about your strengths and weaknesses. Start by completing Tick’s free personality profile test to find out which bird type you are. From there, things will make much more sense.

Personal evolution is lifelong work, made all the more enjoyable with your bird type in mind.